Almost breakdown..

I can breathe again-Kind of.
Most of the drama is over
But the stress still takes it's toll.
The words exchanged are not easily forgotten.
Hate is a powerful word
And it was tossed around carelessly.
I never tried to hurt anyone
Never tried to lie.
I only wanted to make things better
But the harder I tried
The more I fucked up.
Trying to make someone happy
All the while angering myself even more.
I've made my mistakes
Lost alot of respect,
But let me keep my sanity.
Mental breakdowns aren't good.

Take deep breaths
Clear my mind
Exhale Relax.
Or attempt to.
I have been physically hurt.
And mentally and emotionally hurt.
I want to heal all harms,
Caused by me specially
Take away all the pain.

I will gladly carry your burdens
But I only seem to add more weight to your pack.
I want to remove the knife
Leave no scar.
Yet I only seem to push the knife deeper.
Razor in my own hand.
Do I dare?
Make myself feel the pain you are also going through?
Pain is soothing
Numbness is comforting,
But not this time.
A victory won
And no scars to show for it.
Instead, I scream into a pillowPunch the bed And sob.
Give up...
Breathe inExhaleRelax.
It's not the end of the world.
You are still alive
And so am I.