IN PIECES

I realised that sometimes the people who you care about and love the most always just happen to be those who end up hurting you the deepest.Iguess its just cus those are the people who you just trust the most but then after everything that happens you just dont know if you can still trust them anymore.Im not someone who trusts people easily but for those people i trust i really tell them like everything and really,everything and well its just hard when everything happens and stuff and you just realised that well maybe after you thought you can trust them and all,you turn out to be completly irrevocably wrong.Im just a terrible judge of character i guess.but theres nothing very much i can do about things now if thats the way you want things to be and thats the way you want things to remain.I just wanted you to know the way really hurts & i cant deny the fact that im really very disappointed in you.I guess ive just overestimated myself.I thought i was strong enough that i could handle all this shit just fine but when reality really turned around to slap me in the face, i just fell so hard.and now i dont know how to piece myself together again.Im still bound so tightly in these disillusionments trapped in the memories of what could have been, instead of what did become.living forever in yesterday,knowing that tomorrow will just never come.and its hard,its so hard.going around with this facade trying to mask all my feelings acting like everythings alright when it isnt,pretending nothing happened when it did.Its like im just living in a lie each and every single day.and it hurts even more to know that you just dont care anymore.listening to all those stupid songs just brought back all the memories and made me want to crash!I dont even know why im doing this to myself when its just making me feel worse.I doubt you'd understand how i really feel right now but i just wanted to know.it meant so much to me,so much more,than you'd ever imagine.and maybe its all just my own fault for willingly letting myself get hurt and for being stupid enough to fall for .and this bittersweet feeling inside just gnaws away so painfully at your heart until theres nothing left of it anymore and just a hollow space remains.and maybe ive just finally reached that stage already cus this emptiness is all i ever feel and theres just no more pain left that i cant take now and theres just no more tears left to cry.but i guess it doesnt mean anything to you anyway cus you just dont care do you?and it really hurt that you just werent there when i needed you and you were the only person i really badly wanted to talk to and you were the only person i wanted to tell! I just want you to know that right now i miss you so much it actually hurts so bad.somehow i'd just give up anything and everything if there was anyway that we could possibly turn back time to how we used to be.maybe then,things wouldnt have turned out this way.in places no one would find .......