I am always slightly preoccupied with hating myself....
And this is why I cried today... ...i have got to get past this.
So many things are changing for me now and i feel like I'm finally ready to realise my own potential. To stop sabotaging my own happiness. To focus on loving myself for who I am, and not trying to seek out some random thing/person that is going to make me better, cooler, more interesting. To not waste a second more loving people that make me feel inadequate. I seek out and waste absurd amounts of time trying to fix other people in the vain attempt that they'll help me realise my self-worth. Sometimes they make me feel great, other times they hurt me and make me feel terrible. But hey, its not them now is it? Its me!
From this point forward no one decides how I feel about myself except for me.
So in the words of "Rosie.... i will spend absolutely NO more time on people that have or continue to hurt me"!
It only reminds me of the "me" that I don't like.
From this point forward I am no longer the person you knew yesterday or even this morning for that matter. I'm only focusing on the things I like about myself and working on changing the things I don't.
Being a caring person is one of the things I like. Wasting time on idiots is one of the things I don't like. Being ambitious and having lots of ideas-I like. Giving up before I even try-I don't like.This isn't going to be a cake walk i know ; and that is why I cried.
I cried because I'm going to change...and change is scary.
But I've stopped crying because change is exciting, too.. I've crashed and burned...I'll probably make mistakes, all over again, several times..perhaps i'll probably fall; but this time I'm just going to get right back up again and not look back.
2 comments:
That should be the spirit...
Thanks Abhi! I would comment on some of yr posts...had most of it not gone over my head..that is!
Yea im a dumb wit...! what to do..some ppl dont have that much grey matter in their heads..;-0
Anyways thanks ever so much for yr encouraging comments...that uplift my spirits...unlike some so called "real critics"....common just to pull me down further...!
MAybe what they say has sometruth...but...when someone is as they put it..."sick" or "ill" like me...[according to them] then i am a patient right? Do u actually go about in the name of being a good docter and tell yr patient everything...??? Or maybe..that you are a hopeless case...and im sorry i dont want to deal with you aymore? Or do u keep on trying till the last minitue?
Frankly speaking...i would rather like to say to them....if i am so Morbit and....full of selfpity etc etc....then why are u comming and visiting my blog in the first place man!???
PLS DONT! I will infect you too with my infectious decease......!!! Ha ha ha....
Only when one is happy and healthy in onesself can they go out into the world and do real service to mankind. Yes ....i too want to help others...but i have been through alot recently..and have been in the past....so naturally things and any kind of wounds take time to heal and stuff...before u can actually get back on track...and carry on..with life!
But i do appreciate the frankness, the advice u gave...and will definatly...consider and ponder on yr thoughts and comments. Thanks for dropping by...but hey! Please dont in future.....FOR YR OWN SAKE SEE!!!????
Whoever this so called real critic is...will you really be happy for me once i change for the better....and find happiness allover again?
Gees i hope you dont become jelious then!!! Hee hee hee....
Nways..me out of here....sorry Abhi..the last part wasnt for u....at all....just...SOMEONE called REALCRITIC who chooses to be Anonymous!
Cheers! have a great day! ;-)
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