I’m trying to convince myself that I’m simply letting go of this for now and that I’m not a big cry baby, quitter who gives up when something is hard.
So any thoughts on the difference between letting go and quitting would be most appreciated.
Many of us have been in this exact place.
You know you could do something if you stuck it out and worked harder.
But you have a deep hunch that it’s not a good thing, or that you’re tired, or that it’s no longer serving your highest good.
Success books can make it seem like you must slug through things no matter what the cost.
Go go go! Sell sell sell! Work work work!
WHAT ABOUT INTUITION?
What’s missing from this model is a few chapters on how to know if it’s time to shift gears,
time to let go, time to say no, or time to take a break.
Or how to let go and not label yourself a “quitter,” or a “failure,” or someone who just couldn’t “hack it.”
These chapters are missing because this level of knowing, this kind of decision is not something that’s written about easily.
It doesn’t come from the head, and it can’t be “figured out.”
It’s not a 7-step process.
Often these kinds of decisions come out of something not “feeling right.”
The voice inside you that says, “Something’s not good for me here.” Your intuition.
But that’s a deep voice. It’s a quiet voice. It’s a voice that most of us have tuned out for fear of going against the grain.
We’ve neglected this intuitive part of us.
We want reasons, and we want to be able to justify our choices to anyone who asks.
Intuition isn’t a good enough reason.
So, we squelch it.
Our ego gets big and puffy, and brings out what one can call “The Inner Labelmaker.”
The ego uses the harshest labels, the ones that trigger us the most.
It’s scared, and it doesn’t want us to screw up.
labels like “cry baby” and “quitter.”
When I was young, I was sort of carefree and somewhat wild, to some extent you can say,
and I got in trouble a lot, so my labelmaker used words the adults used, like, “irresponsible” or “unfocused.”
Even now, I still believe some of those labels on bad days!
The Inner Labelmaker cares not at all for logic or proof.
The Inner Labelmaker goes for shame, guilt, or whatever hooks you.
My theory is this: That we’re more afraid of what we tell ourselves about ourselves (and of the Inner Labelmaker) than we are of the outcome of our decisions.
SHIFT HAPPENS
Here’s the truth: We change. (Thank God!)
And as we get more tuned in to our intuition and our consciousness,
our values grow and shift.
Our needs become clearer.
And sometimes we have let go of a goal or a relationship or a business plan and realize that it’s no longer in alignment with our current values.
Sometimes it can be something we thought we wanted to do as recently as a few weeks ago,
and it just wasn’t the right thing.
For the last couple of years , i have cutdown on the daily, day to day activities, chores, predicted responsibilites,etc etc
I’m doing this so I can take time to think and write and ask myself how to approach this path, of inner knowledge, wisdome , "the seeker"without burning out.
This was an insanely hard decision to make.
It required lots of changes in my life and constant critisism from my immediate family for example; as they started taking it the otherway round and calling me "selfish", self centered , whatever....
Even my Inner Labelmaker cranked out labels daily!
But so far, I’ve made more progress in terms of spiritual growth and expantion this year than any other year before, and I’m happier. :-)
Really deeply happier.
It was the right decision, and I needed to do it,
even if it felt like I’d lose some of my loved ones in the process...etc
CHOSSING TO STICK IT OUT
I stuck it out because i knew in my heart of hearts i had “a vision of what I wanted to do in the long run.”
I was not born into this world just to be dominated, critisized, looked downupon and labelled a pychopath, made to feel guilty from the smallest thing to the biggest! NO!
I have some other purpose and intention, surely!
Usually when people choose to stick things out, it’s because they want to.
They’re choosing to do that because of a deeper meaning and fulfillment that they get out of following a higher calling.
All of us deal with items in our schedules that are grueling but that take us in a great direction, so it’s worth it.
NO RIGHT OR WRONG
There’s only us deciding if it’s right or wrong. You might say, “Well if bad things happen, then that means it was a wrong decision.”
No it doesn’t!
It just means there’s a new challenge at your door. Welcome to life!
Sometimes, just making the decision brings about such enormous relief that I wonder if the problem isn’t the decision, but being undecided!
INTENT AND MOTIVATION
Always know your intent and your motivation. Try to determine if you are being motivated by fear. Fear of anything is not a strong reason to choose something. Or to avoid choosing something. (Which is still a choice.) Fear of the labelmaker’s words. Fear of losing fans. Fear of amounting to nothing.
These are not reasons. These are lack. When you stick it out because of fear, you are setting intent for lack. You’re saying, “If I don’t stay here, then there will be nothing else there.” And that’s hooey. There’s always something else there.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?
Usually when someone saysthey are in a place of indecision, I can tell what they deeply want to do.
I don’t see it as indecision. I see it as fear. Too many voices saying too many things.
So, do this:
1. Shut up and get still
Quit calling everyone and their sister trying to get their opinions on your life and the decision you’re making.
When you do that, you’re engaging in drama as a way to distract you.
Turn off the cell phone. Sit in the dark. Light a candle and be quiet.
2. Ask yourself, “What is for my highest good in this situation?”
Typically, the very first answer you get is the one you deeply want to do.
“Go home.” “Break up with her.”
“Quit this job immediately.”
“Do not return this phone call.”
I find that my wise voice is very loud when I give it a chance. It knows.
And we all have that voice.
The only problem is that our second-guessing voice is always so quick to jump in.
“But doesn’t this mean I’m lazy?”
“Shouldn’t I give her one more chance?”
“I can stick it out! I know I can!”
Those aren’t healthy deep voices. Go back and listen to the certain voice.
Often, when you hear it, you will breathe deeply.
It’s bigger than the others.
3. Act on it.
The only way to begin to trust your wise voice is to act on it.
This might be scary, but it’s absolutely true. Take action.
Get support from a loving friend if you need to, but act on it. Then observe.
Typically, this is the instant response we get. We feel happy.
We feel relieved. The labelmaker’s got nothing on the lightness of feeling better.
The labelmaker can nail us with all of the things our parents or teachers may have said to us,
but our hearts and our bodies don’t lie.
They will “talk” to us clearly.
Beware of the Half-way Decision (or “I’m taking more time to let my fears to unfold.”)
I know someone who has been breaking up with her boyfriend for about three years.
Our spirits don’t like to live half-way. They know we’re behaving fearfully.
Fear takes a huge toll on our bodies!
Fear can slowly become a lifestyle if you let it.
Half-way decisions rarely work, and the universe will often make the decision for you at some point.
You’ll lose the job you were half-way holding onto.
Your old apartment in the city you’re subletting (just in case you want to go back) gets completely destroyed by the tenant who walks out on the rent.
THE UNIVERSE LOVES CERTAINITY.TEST IT AND SEE.....!
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