A Soul Day...

We are desperate people, living desperate existences.
Constantly reaching, running, jumping from one task to the next without understanding what we are reaching for.

We are desperate. Desperate to be heard, understood, loved and cherished.

Searching blindly we strive forward, hoping to glean inspiration, success, love, money, as if they may eventually bump into us while we have our eyes closed.

Spiritual awareness is mystic and weird.
It is yoga class every Thursday and a moment of contemplation while sipping our cafe latte's at Starbucks.
Masturbation in a closed bedroom, or shower, where for that climactic second we glimpsed some kind of wholeness.

Life in this way seems desperate.

There are so many ways to avoid life and to make excuses for ourselves.
"Oh yes, I am very happy and fulfilled, while sipping coffe just the other day i realized perhaps i need something new, a new outfit or makeover or whatever. Some new friends.
A new hobby to keep myself so busy I will never have a moment alone again!
No moments where I have to think.
No moments where I will wonder whether I am happy or not."

People joke that you get married, buy a house, have children and then you die.
Some joke, indeed!
Easy to laugh at, even easier to live.
When we give up our personal identity we don't have to think...anymore.
We can play a role.

Desperate housewife.

I looked at myself in the mirror today and found that i dont know if i am truly, honestly happy with myself, my life or not!?
Today I will do nothing except for write, think, listen to music without words and contemplate what is important to me.
A soul day.